Dearest boss babes,
Do you sometimes feel that you’re selling your soul for that position you really deserve? Are you the one who is always taken advantage of? Are you the one who is the soft target? Are you the one who works hard for something but hardly gets recognition because people take away your attributes?
May be I am the worst person you’re taking this advice from, however, if you are have an honest approach like me who works her ass off while spilling coffee all over the desk during the work hours, you’re at the right place. If you hate manipulators and liars and you can never be one of them, you are probably reading the best piece of advice today..
Of 10 years working, full of ups and more of downs, I might be of a little help to you.
So, office politics? Do you really need the political proficiency at work to succeed? Should you treat it like any other important area of your skill set?
Wait… my photographer just called, he was talking some business for a change, *SMH*, speaking of proficiency…
Politics is not a choice at work, it is there, ask anyone, any organization, any friend circle, any effing place, it just exists where there are a bunch of humans involved, but it’s a necessity at work that can be improved at any point in your career. For each and every one of us, the sooner that happens, the better. It’s not about who plays better, it’s about who stays above the game and wins the peace and recognition both.
One of the reasons why I love my job is because I get to play the role of a leader with minimum contact with coworkers, I would lie if I say that a sensitive person like me never gets dispirited or haven’t been stabbed in the back, I totally have been there, even when I hardly get involved with folks around the cubicle.
Warning: People like me are sometimes considered snooty for the same reason, if you’re fine with it, proceed..
My bitter experiences include flirtatious bosses, men who wouldn’t let me take the leap even though I totally deserve it (just to get into my pants). ‘Friends’ who didn’t stand by me when they said they would, ‘best friends’ turned jealous competitors (yes, I used to make these ‘best friends’ at work and the idea totally sucked EACH TIME ) and a lot more than you can imagine.
Nevertheless, Let me share some advice that might help you stay sane during the tough time:
- First of all, Focus on the solution…not on the person creating the conflict. It’s not going to be simple, you just have to act a bit mature for this step.
- Second, No one’s your friend.
Promise me, you will never make best friends at work, and promise me that you will be discreet, people are idea burglars, they will act like those sleepless nights belonged to them without looking into your eye, and act like your friend the next moment.
- Stay away from negativity, That obviously points towards males who try to get into your pants, tell them you have a bodybuilder boyfriend, in my case that’s even true, haha ! and trust me, it always saved me, and of course, that two faced fellow colleague who secretly wishes to dress like you yet keeps giving you a cold shoulder unless she needs to know your new strategy.
- Don’t care about opinions and never ever take things personally, Save this picture, No, really ! People are so frustrated to prove a point at workplaces, they are mentally exhausted playing the ‘I am better game’, therefore, the more you take things and friendships seriously , chances are you’re getting beeped. Therefore, keep your promise (Read #2 in doubt)
- Take the right side, You hear me? You need to stand by the truth, not always but when it includes you..You know? when I needed help, I used to google stuff ages ago and I would read this being neutral funda which I never understood. If you do not portray your opinion, you can not succeed in making a mark. That’s how I always conquered the most difficult situations at work and even though I was initially scared to speak the truth or confront an asshole, it was eventually taken in consideration. Remember ! There are very few people who are odd, who speak the truth, and by truth, I don’t mean you have to stand on the rooftop and scream the culprit’s or the victim’s name and cry your drunk heart out, you just have to say it like you mean it, Keep it simple, keep it firm and never forget rule # 1: Focus on the solution.
- Always remember HOME !! You have a home aka mom’s lap to go to aka a big couch and a television set, you have a life unlike these people, that pizza at home is waiting for you, your best friend and you don’t want to be talking about shit that happened at your workplace all the time, nahh, twice as exhausting. You totally need to gossip about her new crush at the gym, that means, you should only take your personal life in consideration when attacked by negativity at office. Shrug it off ! you totally have a comfortable bed and new flicks waiting for you at your adobe, focus on your REAL LIFE.
- Focus on making your clients happy, not the boss. In my case, it’s my trainees (and, I am superrrrrr lucky). As a coach, I try to give my trainees the best of me possible. All I mean is, love your job, like seriously do, that’s the only way to stay sane and do it honestly, hustle hard for it, give it all your heart and it’s the most rewarding feeling ever. Boot-licking for the sake of visibility, umm..No ! Being fake is too short lived. Trust me! Have some self respect.
- Respond with the strength, people are hardly fearless in organisations and are insanely afraid of someone who has the courage, especially a woman. Strength doesn’t again mean, you gotta flaunt or shout, In fact, you have to be really calm, being calm is the best superpower you could possess as a female. Few days ago, I read this quote; ‘the calmest person in the room is the most dangerous one.’ and I love being dangerous *wink*.
- Stay above the game: The best way to win this game is to never play it (well, unless you enjoy it.) Staying in your lane and delivering the best is all you can do. Don’t try to be something you think is what everyone wants you to be. Be genuine. It DOESN’T sound like the most cliché thing related to this subject, but it truly is what resonates.
- Speak your mind in the best possible way ever. I have been rude in the past, I have given some people a piece of my mind, which I regretted initially but it worked for me because I hardly ever do it, I am known as one of the most polite colleagues but I am also a no-nonsense female, you just need to show them both your sides, or you will just be treated like a punching bag. I don’t always believe in ‘you have to earn respect’, I feel sometimes you need to show them the boss babe inside you.
- And, last but NOT the least, Don’t give your power to anyone: No one, because power is luxury and you don’t give your comfort to just anyone, do you?
I am sure you enjoyed this post as much as I did writing it, I could write more but t’s 2:35 AM and nape of my neck is yelling at me to relax a bit now.
A BIG YAWN
Good night !